My anti-resolutions

‘Tis the season for making resolutions we’ll willfully forget by February.  Gyms are packed.  Sidewalks are illuminated by new, white running shoes.  Confused looking people wander the aisles of Whole Foods.  I am just as guilty of this as anyone, but a recent story by a fellow Daily Muse writer has inspired me to create anti-resolutions, things that I am definitely not going to do in 2012.  You should do the same.  It’s invigorating.

    1. I am not going to drink less coffee.  I get excited every night about going to sleep because I know that when I wake up, I will have coffee.  I know it has too much caffeine, I know I put too much sugar and soy milk in it – that’s what makes me like it.
    2. I am not going to spend less time on Facebook or Pinterest. These two mediums provide a free, fast, and essential mindless activity for me every day.  Despite all my rumination about the effects of social media, I’m not giving it up.
    3. I am not going to get outside more.  During the spring and summer, I am an outdoors enthusiast.  I walk around my neighborhood.  I shop in open-air malls.  I sit on my back porch and drink wine.  In other words, I appreciate nature.  But during the winter, outside is my enemy, and that’s not changing.
    4. I’m not going to stop giving my husband a hard time about the amount of stuff he owns and stores in our home.  I love him.  I do.  But there’s just so many screwdrivers.  And saws.  And t-shirts.  And CD’s from the 90’s.  And so much sports equipment.  I’m working on it.
    5. I’m not going to work a normal 8 hour day.  My most productive time is the hour (or two) after the majority of people leave.  It’s not convenient to get home at 8pm (or so), but I took the Gallup Stengths’ Finder test and my #1 strength is “Achiever.”  I can’t escape it.

Here’s to a happy, safe, and realistic New Year!